I Am Guilty

I have borrowed a phrase from Thomas Merton's book and shaped it into these words. The context of this poem is that of the days between Jesus' entry into the city and the resurrection. I wonder how many were bystanders during that fateful week? I also wonder how we are impacted when we stand on the sidelines while horrific things are happening in front of us whether those are disenfranchised people here in our country, children in another country, or back in the days of Jim Crow South. There could be many applications.

I am a guilty bystander
            Inching along on the fringes
            Hoping not to be seen or
            Pulled into the fray.

I am a guilty bystander

            As he rides up the narrow street
            On top of a donkey as we yell and
            Holler as if a king has come to town

I am a guilty bystander

            As he teaches in the Temple area
            People listening and arguing
            As he comes and goes into the night.

 I am a guilty bystander

            Pain I do not want to feel
            And at a distance I can
            Intellectualize and depersonalize.

I am a guilty bystander

            Feeling the crowd nudge against me
            Sensing our detachment and voyeurism
            While someone is suffering.

I am a guilty bystander

            My hands are clean of fault
            No stain upon my detached heart
            Watching the spectacle from afar.

I am a guilty bystander

            And watching I will stay
            While blood flows down and
            Pools on the hillside or into the street.

Yes, I am a guilty bystander
            On the roads of Jerusalem
            In the woods during that lynching
            While those children died.

I am a guilty bystander
            And someday sooner or later
            I’ll see the error of my way
            And the truth will crash in on me.

And then what?